Something I found on the Internet.
Modern Love Application.
Dearest Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since
Tuesday, the 17th of August 1999. With reference to the meeting held
between us on the 17th of August 1999 at 1500 hours, I would like to
present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on
probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility,
would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there
will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal
schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred
for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the
expenses.
However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, you and your expense
account. I request you to kindly respond within 3 days of receiving this
letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice
and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could
forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this
offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,
[Boy]
Modern Reply of Modern Love Application.
Dear Boy,
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I
hope to accept your proposal for romance. However, you should be informed
that there are certain conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are
to my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to your retirement
benefits. Gratuity should be generous. I also need to be assured that there
is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. If there is any
chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then
I should receive monetary compensation according to union standards. Due to
the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense account
should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP' I shall be
entertaining. In addition,
outing and transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than a
luxury condo and a Jag are in order.
Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed
on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply on
an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of
interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
Yours perhaps,
[Girl]
